Threesomes are a popular sexual fantasy that many people fantasize about but don’t necessarily act upon. In fact, the popularity of threesomes is such that it has its own holiday, celebrated on March 3rd (3/3!). But just how popular are threesomes these days? A recent survey conducted by the Kinsey Institute and Lovehoney in the summer of 2021 found that 23% of Americans reported an increasing interest in having a threesome since the pandemic began.
The World of Threesomes: Debunking Common Misconceptions
Despite their popularity, there are many common misconceptions about threesomes. One of the most common misconceptions is that threesomes are mostly a male fantasy. However, research shows that while men are more likely to have had the fantasy and to have it often, most women have fantasized about it before too. Another misconception is that threesomes are necessarily going to be amazing, and that they will look exactly like your fantasy. However, having a threesome is perhaps the most popular fantasy, but it’s also the fantasy that’s least likely to turn out well when people try it IRL. This is often due to little communication or planning that goes into it. This isn’t to say that threesomes can’t work out well, but the outcomes are more mixed compared to other fantasies. Finally, another common misconception is that just because you’re bisexual or pansexual that you’re into threesomes. Being attracted to more than one sex/gender doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re into group sex.
Bringing Up Threesomes with Your Partner: Tips and Advice
If you’re in a relationship and want to have a threesome, how do you bring it up with your partner? The starting point is to step back and look at broader sexual communication patterns in the relationship. Have you ever shared sexual fantasies before? For monogamous couples that want to open up and play together, it’s important to start with solid sexual communication. Start by sharing and acting on some fantasies that only involve you and your partner and use that as an opportunity to build trust, communication, and intimacy. When you eventually bring up the idea of a threesome, take care in how you frame it. It’s easy for fantasies like this to evoke feelings of insecurity or jealousy. Start from a place of validation, and discuss what’s in it for you AND your partner. Also, don’t pressure your partner into it! Start with a general conversation about the idea of a threesome. What do each of you like about the idea? What concerns do you have? Talk through everything first and, if you’re on the same page, then you can talk about how you might actually go about making this fantasy a reality.
Single and Interested in a Threesome? Here’s What You Need to Know
But how can a single person go about finding people to have a threesome with? Does it always need to be with a couple? If you’re single and into the idea of a threesome, you might consider some dating apps that cater to this, like Feeld. You can leverage technology to help identify people who share this interest. You might decide to join a couple, or you might get a group of individuals together. There are no rules for this. It ultimately depends on your comfort level and what you’re looking for.
Setting Boundaries During Threesomes: Why Communication is Key
When it comes to setting boundaries during threesomes, communication is key! Ideally, everyone involved will establish their wants and boundaries before the action begins. Some boundaries to consider include which sexual activities are and aren’t permissible, what safer-sex practices will be utilized, and establishing a safeword in the event that something moves past someone’s comfort zone. And if you’re going into this with a romantic partner, there are also relationship boundaries to consider, such as what comes after a threesome. Communicating and agreeing on these boundaries beforehand can help ensure that everyone involved has a positive and enjoyable experience.
Exploring the Popularity of Threesomes: What the Numbers Say
So, what do the numbers say about threesomes? According to a survey of 4,175 Americans conducted by the Kinsey Institute and Lovehoney, 87% of women and 95% of men had fantasized about some form of group sex before, with threesomes being the most popular form. However, while the idea of having a threesome is a popular fantasy, relatively few people have ever actually tried one. Around 1 in 5 men and 1 in 10 women say they’ve done it before. The people most likely to say they’ve had a threesome are men (compared to women), LGBTQ+ folks (compared to cis/het folks), and mid-life adults (compared to young adults).
In conclusion, threesomes are a common and popular fantasy, but they also come with a lot of misconceptions and require communication and planning to be successful. If you’re interested in exploring the world of threesomes, take the time to communicate with your partner(s), set boundaries, and find a comfortable and safe environment to explore your fantasies.
